Eh, that'll buff right out.
Joey serves the girls breakfast and reminds them not to reveal there's a surprise 30th birthday party for Danny that night. Danny comes downstairs and the family wishes him a happy birthday. Danny wants everyone to move on and forget that he's turning 30. The girls give Danny a coupon book. One of the coupons is for a free carwash for Bullet, Danny's beloved car, which we've only ever seen in the opening credits. Danny bought it ten years ago on his birthday.
The doorbell rings and it turns out the family got Danny a chauffeur and stretch limo for the day. Danny reminds Jesse and Joey he doesn't want a party. As soon as he leaves, Jesse and Joey start talking logistics for that night. Jesse is taking Bullet to get fitted for custom seat covers as a present for Danny.
Later that night, several adults are mingling in the livingroom. Stephanie and DJ are passing around trays of appetizers. Mmm, cheese platter. In the backyard, Jesse just got Bullet towed back to the house. The car is all busted up and covered in seaweed. He confesses to Joey and the girls that Bullet was in an accident. Caroline, aspiring captain of the Tanner Love Boat, comes in to announce that Danny's coming up the front steps. Jesse and Joey hide the seat covers and agree not to let Danny see the gift or Bullet until after the party.
Danny opens the door and everyone yells surprise. Caroline is holding Michelle, hoping Danny will accept her as a substitute mother for his children. The guys try to butter Danny up. Joey says that Jesse deserves all the credit for the party, and Jesse gives Danny a big hug. This has nothing at all to do with the scene, but DJ is wearing a bolo tie.
Later, Danny is opening gifts. Caroline mounted Danny's bait for him since he didn't catch anything on the sea cruise (of love). Nice flirting, Caroline - we all know the way to a man's heart is to humiliate him in front of his friends and children. Stephanie comes into the room with the wrapped seat covers and Danny grabs the box before Jesse and Joey can. He opens the seat covers and leaves to put them on Bullet right away. Caroline sneaks off to unload her luggage into Danny's bedroom. Joey and Jesse catch up to Danny in the kitchen and confess to the accident. Apparently Jesse was coming out of the store with the seat covers when some guy crashed into Bullet and sent him through a guardrail and into the bay. Danny thinks Jesse is joking until he sees Bullet looking like he sank with the Titanic instead of just being in the bay for a couple of hours.
Jesse tells Danny he takes full responsibility for the accident. Danny is a bit stunned and says it's no big deal, but Jesse and Joey get him in touch with his anger by reminding him how much he loved Bullet, and that the car represented his 20s. Danny sadly says he'll never forget this birthday and goes to bed.
Joey interrupts Danny reading to Michelle the next morning. Joey tells Danny to buck up - it's just a car! Jeez, Joey, give the man one friggin' day to mope. Danny says it's more than the car - he's having a bit of a crisis about turning thirty and being a grownup. Jesse pokes his head in and says he'll make it up to Danny. He tells Joey to get ready to go pick up another surprise for Danny.
Jesse and Joey wander into a car dealership and find a car that looks exactly like Bullet. Jesse claims to have somehow had the time to call every dealer in Northern California to find it, even though in the previous scene Danny was just saying how early in the morning it was. Jesse says they have to get the car for no more than $11,700 so Danny can cover it with his insurance cheque. The phone rings and another buyer is on the phone and offering $12,000. Jesse and Joey start outbidding the mystery caller, who turns out to be Danny, until the price goes up to $20,000. Danny says that's too insane and hangs up. Jesse and Joey zzzzzz...end up getting the car for $11,500.
The guys come home and Danny shows them a brochure for the new car he's going to buy, saying he's moving on from his old one. Jesse and Joey admit they got Danny a new Bullet. The Imminent Hug music starts up. Danny says the guys made his birthday great. He sends the guys to round up the girls for a ride in the new car. The show closes on the family taking a ride that is identical to the one they take in the opening credits. Neat!
***
Award for legitimately funny line goes to: Danny when he's reading to Michelle. "Oh, it's Mr. Car. What does Mr. Car say? You're right. He doesn't say anything. Because he's dead."
Person that generated the biggest eyeroll: Caroline, in general.
First appearance of: Bullet; The backyard.
I am baffled by: The fact that the seat covers are gift wrapped. Do car dealerships provide that as a service? Or did the car fall into the bay and Jesse rushed right out to get the seat covers wrapped? Couldn't the dealer have installed them onto the seats so Danny wouldn't have to do it? Does anyone know why I'm still talking about this?
Episode rating: This episode was nothing special. I feel like the show gets a little better when DJ and Stephanie get expanded roles. I give this episode 1.5 out of 5 oversize novelty bows for cars.
Photo source: fullhouse.wikia.com
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